Karmic Relationships VII
GA 239
13 June 1924, Breslau
Lecture VII
We are all the time coming nearer to an understanding of those elements in the lives of individuals that can give us an inkling of the place of karma in their personal existence. In order to reach this goal in the course of these lectures it will be my task to-day to indicate how karma can be investigated by Initiation-science, to begin with through actual experience of karma, and how man—at first without Initiation-science but with a certain intimate capacity for observing life—can develop insight into the potency of karma. Let us remember here what I have said about memory and thoughts which stream up in their multitudes from the depths of the world of soul, some summoned by our own activity, some rising up freely. They are thoughts which give us a picture, shadowy and more or less abstract it is true, but for all that a picture of our earthly life since birth. Attention has recently been drawn to what a man loses if he loses his memory. He is then still able to act quite sensibly and reasonably, but he does not act out of the context of his whole life; he acts as if at the point of time when his action begins he remembers nothing of his life hitherto; he acts, in fact, as if he had come into the world as a skilful, intelligent, rational individual but as if his life hitherto had simply not been spent on this Earth. From this we see how for the ordinary-level consciousness of to-day, the Ego is anchored, grounded, in the memory but in the case referred to can no longer find its bearings along the path of memory leading through this earthly life.
But what does this memory amount to? Let us compare it with the actual experience of the reality from which the memory comes to us. We have our place in life, we go through life with its joys and sorrows, find ourselves interwoven in our experiences with the whole of our being. But just compare the intensity of feeling that accompanies an actual experience with the shadowy remembrance preserved in the soul. We need only take an especially significant event in life, for instance, the death of a friend who was particularly dear to us, or the death of father or mother, at a time when such a happening would be an exceptionally deep experience. Let us compare the full intensity of the event and the moment when it was experienced, with the shadowy memories that come to us ten years later! And yet we must have these shadowy memories in order to be aware of the continuity, the intrinsic value and reality of our Ego in earthly life. But is it not evident from this how the Ego, which can find no bearings in earthly life without memory, really experiences itself in a shadowy way, how it is anchored in what actually sinks down every night into unconsciousness? As a matter of fact we do not experience our ‘I,’ our Ego, with very great intensity in ordinary-level consciousness on Earth. The real Ego of life that is not immediately present grows more and more akin to thought, although we know that it is connected with the Ego of to-day. Experience of the present has intensity but this intensity is absent from experiences that have become remembrance. So that we can say: (a drawing was made) if this is our perceptive soul, our spirit, which are in living intercourse with all that streams in upon us from the outside world, behind this Ego we experience in shadowy recollection what remains to us of it. The characteristic feature of this memory is that feeling and also impulses of will are more and more sifted out of it. However intense our feelings may have been on the occasions referred to, the death of someone extraordinarily dear to us, for instance, yet the memory picture which remains has become dim, more and more devoid of feeling. And even less is there any continuance of what we then undertook out of our will-impulses under the impression of the moment! Feeling and will fade away; the calm memory-picture, a mere shadow of what we actually experience, is all that remains as a rule. And we can exist in the land of Earth only if this shadow of an experience remains with us. Our relation to memory is one thing, to present experience quite another.
But we can approach direct experience in another way, not as we usually do; we can ask new questions about our experiences. It must be admitted that if we look back on life it assumes a remarkable aspect. Let us ask ourselves what we really are at the present moment with our knowledge, with the quality of our feeling, the energy of our will. And if we return to our experiences with these newly asked questions, we shall discover how poor we should be, after having reached a certain age in life, if our previous experiences had not been there! If we look back, more particularly to many experiences of youth and relate the remembrance of them to the present day—how happy they were! If we often look back over our life we can say to ourselves something highly significant for the present moment. We can say: we owe the facility with which we adapt our soul, perhaps even our physical constitution with more or less dexterity to life, to the circumstances that in youth we were able to live happily, not suffering from depression, that we were led to much that gave us joy. These impressions of joy in the soul endow us in later life with a certain happiness, although it is drawn down into deeper regions of our being. Let us now ask how much of what life brings us in the way of inner deepening, how much of this is to be attributed to our sorrows, our sufferings? And let us also ask: what can arise in the soul if we look at our life with these questions in mind? We must give the answer to these questions not with the intellect, but with feeling. And feeling answers: I must be thankful to all that has come into my life because only thereby have I become the being I am and with whom I more or less identify myself. I cannot know whether otherwise I might have been of even less account. I can only be thankful to life, because I have become what I am through its joys and sorrows.
This question must be answered with a feeling of thankfulness to life. And it means a great deal if this thankfulness for earthly existence finds its way into the human soul. If certain deepenings of the soul are achieved and life is judged not out of emotion but out of the soul in its purity, then this thankfulness always arises. Though much of what life has brought us may be deplored, yet in many respects the regret is the expression of a complete error. For if what is regretted had not taken place we should not be what we actually are. The feeling that we can have about life amounts ultimately to this thankfulness. Thankfulness may also be felt even when we are not entirely in agreement with life, when we would like to have had more from our existence. We can also be thankful if we are given a small cake by someone from whom we might have expected the present of a large one. The fact that we had expected a large cake must certainly not weaken our thankfulness. And so it can truly be said that whatever, in our opinion, life has denied us—and this opinion may after all be erroneous—it has at all events brought us something. For what it has brought us we must develop the feeling of thankfulness. But when in all earnestness we develop the feeling of thankfulness—we need only reflect on this and it will be readily understood—there must be thankfulness for something else. Anyone who has developed thankfulness to life will be led, through this thankfulness itself, to recognition of the invisible spiritual Bestowers of life and to the transformation of memory in loving devotion to them.
The most beautiful way for one's personality to be led to the super-sensible is when the path leads through thankfulness to life. Thankfulness is also a way into the super-sensible and finally it becomes veneration and love for the life-bestowing spirit of man. Thankfulness gives birth to love and when love is born from thankfulness to life it opens the heart to the spiritual Powers permeating all existence. And as life began with our birth and we cannot possibly begin to be thankful to life merely from our birth as we then already obviously possessed certain qualities, it is therefore quite certain that thankfulness to life leads out of this life into pre-natal existence. In order to be fully aware of what I am now saying it must in any case be proved in actual life. If thankfulness develops out of unprejudiced observation of life, let us test whether love that quickens insight into the spirit is not actually born from this thankfulness, and we shall find that it is so. The question arising here can indeed only be answered through life itself, but life answers as I have indicated. When, however, through actual experiences we develop thankfulness and love to the life-bestowing spiritual Powers our feeling is quite different from anything associated with memory. We experience vividly, with intensity; in memory our experiences become pale shadows. Memory owes its existence to our experiences; but we now come to something that is mightier than our ordinary Ego.
When we consider the experiences that have come to us we are not concerned merely with our shadowy memories; we are concerned with something mighty, not with the shadow of our Ego flowing through time, but with the creator of this earthly Ego. Outside on every hand are the events to which we owe our existence, and when we consider these events we must acknowledge them to be powerful creators of our earthly Ego. We stand in the middle of them with our momentary, present Ego; behind us, if we look into our soul, are shadowy after-images of our experiences; before us, there is weaving destiny, the successive experiences of destiny which have formed and moulded our Ego. The transition from thinking to feeling belongs in fact to this vivid feeling of the shaping of destiny, for thankfulness and love can be experienced only in the realm of feeling. It is to this thankfulness and love that there comes a presentiment of an irrevocable destiny. When we have divined the existence of this ruling destiny, having experienced thankfulness and love, we begin to feel the power of the events that have made us what we are. Think of someone of forty years of age: he has made his mark. In order to take an extreme example, let us say that he has become a great poet—after all there have been such people! ... I might also say, not to go far afield, a noted physiologist, or physicist, but I will take an imaginary example. This man looks back to his eighteenth year; he goes through the events from his fortieth back to his eighteenth year and finds that at the age of eighteen he failed in his leaving examination. At that time it had been a great grief to him. But he had been obliged to arrange his life differently, for he had not enough money to repeat the year, or to go through the wide world as a student who had failed in his examination. Everything was already prepared! Had he passed the examination he would have become an excellent financial inspector, have done an immense amount of work, but have had no time to develop the facilities and powers lying in the underground of his soul. Of course it can be said that if these powers of phantasy exist they are so strong that in any case they would break through the financial activities! This can be said in the abstract, and is invariably said, but it is not true. Many a poet owes his special temperament and what he has become to the circumstance that something of the nature I have indicated happened to him. He will be grateful—if he sets any value on having become a famous poet—to the examiners who ‘failed’ him and did not hinder the course of his life by giving him ‘excellent’ in each subject. Whatever life has been, when we take it in its reality and not sentimentally we can certainly develop this thankfulness and acknowledge that we have been forged by the destiny that goes with us or against us. But at all events we must undergo this feeling in order to see destiny as it were weaving as living reality before us.
Here I should like to interpolate how the same experiences come to one who possesses Initiation-knowledge, one who can therefore see into the spiritual world. He directs his gaze—which has already been sharpened by the Imaginative and Inspired knowledge he possesses and about which you can read in the book Knowledge of the Higher Worlds—he directs his gaze to some particular experience. One who has intensified and strengthened his knowledge can direct his gaze with particular intensity to any experience he is undergoing at the present moment. If a man has Initiation-knowledge he is affected by the experience not less but more strongly than if he has no such knowledge. From the fact that he apparently undergoes experiences with much greater composure than a man who has not this knowledge it must not be concluded that he is less deeply moved by them. He is much more strongly affected than the other. It is only that he has acquired the power to look with composure and objectively at the hard experiences of life; deep down in his being he feels them more significantly than does the other. So when a man endowed with Imagination and Inspiration has experiences they are intense and strong; and because he has practised the relevant exercises in this and in the preceding life he can transform the experiences into pictures full of content, into actual Imaginations.
In what does this transformation consist? It consists in the fact that not only does what the eyes see of the events and experiences, stand there, but that the deeper spiritual connections become evident and a picture which is also carried about with one when the experience has passed, arises; the experience has passed but the picture is immediately present. The experience is intense and through Imagination the spiritual connections play into it. The soul is strongly stirred and it is then possible to look into the spiritual reality and to retain the experience. If a night goes by, the experience, which has become more intense because the astral body and the Ego go out of the physical body, is carried into the spiritual world. What has been experienced in the physical world with the physical and etheric bodies together can be experienced in the spiritual world only with the Ego and astral body; but then, on waking, it is driven back again into the physical body. But it is not brought back as if by the ordinary consciousness which is restricted to memory which gradually fades away. It is carried back in such a way that one's whole being is permeated as with a phantom; it is carried with one in full objectivity, in all intensity, and it resounds with the reality of another human being standing bodily before one.
And then again two or three days or nights pass. Then, after these two or three days or nights the following happens: what was first carried into the spiritual world by the Ego and astral body and has been brought back so that it is quickened and vibrates in the physical body, yes, even becomes articulate and stands behind the experiences as the ruling destiny. The experiences are not alone; they are now coloured by what produced them in former earthly lives, by the forecast of how they will go on working in the earthly lives to come. Just as we put memory as a shadowy image behind us, one who has Initiation-knowledge puts experiences in front of him so that they are clearly there before him. But they become as transparent as glass and behind them, like a mighty cosmic memory, stands the evolving karma, the objectivised memory. And one becomes aware that man not only has within him the shadowy memories of earthly life but that his karma is engraved around him in the cosmic ether, the Akashic Chronicle. Within is shadowy memory, without is the cosmic memory of our destiny through the lives on Earth even although it remains unknown to the ordinary-level consciousness.
Our passage through the world may be sketched like this (a sketch was made). We walk over the ground of the Earth bearing within us shadowy memories. If we were to picture to ourselves a human being with these shadowy memories in him we should have to picture them as a little cloud in the region of his head—where the head passes over into the body—gradually becoming more and more shadowy towards the body. As a human being moves through the world he is surrounded by an etheric aura in which all his experiences are inscribed but also everything that is inscribed in him from the previous earthly life. We have an inner memory and we have the world's memory outside us. Every human being is surrounded by this aura. Not only is the present life engraved in us by way of memory, but round about us the earthly lives of man are engraved. It is not always easy to decipher this memory, but it is there. The deciphering is difficult and in the instances of which I have spoken to you during the last few days, the deciphering was not easy to convert into knowledge. But everything is there. Man has not only a memory within him but an auric memory around him. It is not possible in a single moment to call up a remembrance of what one has passed through in life. The remembering always requires several days. Here, waking up and going to sleep must also come into play, as I have described. It can never be said that as some experience has been undergone one should necessarily remember how it was affected by earlier lives on Earth. It must be fixed in the mind clearly and imaginatively, permeated with inspiration; and then one must wait until it reveals itself. One must never speculate about the spiritual world in research, never invent anything, but only make the preparations for enabling something to reveal itself from the spiritual world. Anyone who believes he can force the spiritual world to reveal this or that to him will be very greatly mistaken; nothing but errors will come of it. Preparation must be made for what one may hope to receive out of the spiritual world more or less by grace.
Such is the path of knowledge which with Initiation-science can reveal karma. It reveals that each human being bears karma as a kind of aura around him. But through the path of thankfulness in life I have described it is possible to have an inkling of the karma a man carries around him in this way. This inkling of being enclosed in a karmic-auric mantle can come to one. It will take more than a period of a few days as would be possible with Initiation-knowledge, but it will come about gradually in the course of more intimate self-observation—often with respect to experiences lying in the far past, to which we turn our gaze. But if a certain event of our past life is mature enough for us to recognise that the forces of preparation in earlier earthly lives are playing into it, then we certainly have an inkling of the truth. Unfortunately, however, it is rare to-day for a man to penetrate so deeply into his own soul that he achieves this grasp of his own experiences or even comes near to developing the feeling of thankfulness. People to-day take life far too externally. They rush through life without pausing quietly to realise the nature of their various experiences. If one has grown up with a certain perception of the cosmic significance of human life, it may sometimes seem quite remarkable how far individuals are from being what they imagine themselves to be, how often they are simply borne along by life without making any strong individual impression.
Here too I should like to speak of concrete cases. I once came across a history teacher, who was a very clever man and also gave his pupils this impression. It might be said that when he chose to do so he lectured with a certain inner enthusiasm which lent emphasis to his words and when the right moment came, enthusiasm for him as a teacher was aroused in his pupils. There was something remarkable about him. I saw him at the time when he could arouse real enthusiasm among his pupils. But then life got the better of him; he became slack, and the enthusiasm that formerly permeated his lectures was no longer there. He read aloud from books, supposing that the pupils did not know them and would not come across them. But one day a pupil went up to the rostrum and saw the book from which he had been reading, whereupon all the pupils bought it, learnt its contents thoroughly and became excellent scholars. At last he became so superficial that he no longer knew what he was telling the pupils in his class. This transformation came about in a relatively short time, and one could not help being amazed to see how ineffectual he was after having quite recently been able to generate such enthusiasm. A few more years went by and the same teacher of whom I once heard a number of pupils say with the characteristic enthusiasm of youth: ‘There's a man for you! He is really enthusiastic about history ... one can learn something from him!’—this man ended quite remarkably, in a life of stagnation and triviality. In a few years he had degenerated to such an extent that he was obliged to live outside the town where he had been a teacher; he was so little respected that it was impossible for him to live in the town.
Such a change for the worse in destiny seems a great riddle and if life is taken earnestly enough it is through such cases that one begins to ask questions about karma. For very many other human beings seem to jog along in the same old groove, undergoing no such radical changes. To genuine spiritual knowledge such destinies as the one of which I have told you become great problems. Through spiritual knowledge we are led on the one hand to the great problems which in the lecture yesterday, at the end of a series of incarnations, brought us to Woodrow Wilson, but on the other hand, in the life immediately surrounding us we are led in thought to the great questions of human destiny. If we observe an example of this kind quite without prejudice we make the discovery that surely it cannot have its origin in the present life! And there will be countless other, quite different cases, where no such twists of destiny take place. We must therefore set to work with the strong desire to understand such questions of destiny. And other cases arise. I will give another example. These examples always seem to me to have been placed in my own path in order to give my conception of karma the right colouring.
I also came to know another man personally—also a teacher. He was even more revered than the one of whom I have spoken, quite extraordinarily revered by his pupils. They believed him to be the greatest sage at present existing in the world. This was the impression made upon his numerous pupils—not upon all, not, for instance, upon myself, but that is a personal matter and is not characteristic. And now a most remarkable thing happened. One could have believed from the relation of this man to his pupils—he had thrown himself into his teaching with all enthusiasm, with every fibre of his soul—that it apparently satisfied him. Yet one suddenly discovered that he was extremely glad not to be obliged to teach any longer; he had been appointed Director of a much less important school than the one in which he had formerly taught. He was delighted to be able to carry out the business of Director which was much more trivial work than actual teaching. And the most striking and surprising thing of all was that this same man, who could speak inspiringly about Homer and Aeschylus, who presented geography in a wonderful way to his pupils, that this same man ended in trivial party-political circles. It was absolutely incomprehensible!
I am bringing this forward only as an example for I could add any number more to the two cases of which I have spoken. They would be personalities about whom one has the feeling that their Ego has been little affected by life. They stand there as personalities upon whom life has little effect; it has touched them externally only. If it touched them when they were still near their training-college examination or during their University training when they listened with enthusiasm, then they were full of zest. If life has led them to trivialities, then they accommodate themselves to the trivial, and are contented too; nothing touches their souls at all deeply. If it were a matter of cleverness, of intelligence ... well, how many people would be Anthroposophists to-day! Millions of individuals to-day are clever enough to grasp Anthroposophy. What hinders them in our time from coming to Anthroposophy is that in their souls they take life superficially, letting life flow past in its depths, its superficialities, its banalities. They can be unimportant school-reformers for a time and after that sit all day in cafes and play billiards, without a single pause from morning until night. Such things do indeed go on in our modern life.
Here the great question arises as to why this happens. In the case of many souls it becomes apparent in what a remarkable way such circumstances have come about. A whole number of personalities such as those described through the two examples, lead one back into the early Christian centuries, when they had their most important previous incarnations. One is led to those centuries when in the South and also already to some extent in Middle Europe, Christianity had assumed the form which later on it has still in many ways retained. It was a time when, as I have shown in the book Christianity as Mystical Fact, the Mystery-wisdom out of which Christianity had grown, had faded away. The Mystery-wisdom had contained the experience of the Cosmic Christ, the knowledge that the Christ had proceeded from the Sun, which is a spiritual reality in the Cosmos, and had come to the Earth in order to be for the Earth that which He has indeed become. This knowledge which extends from the Earth into realms of cosmic spirituality existed among influential Christians in the first century and faded away in the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh centuries A.D. Then it faded away so thoroughly that to-day it has come to the point—but it began at that time—when the strongest rebuke levelled against the conception of Christ held by Anthroposophy is that Anthroposophy regards Christ as a Cosmic Being, as a Sun Being. Everywhere among our opponents it is accounted to be Anthroposophy's greatest crime that it has a cosmological conception of Christ. It is said that this is a warming-up of what once existed as Gnostic Christianity.—Now people have no idea whatever of what Gnostic Christianity is. For with the exception of a few fragments such as the Pistis Sophia, from which little can be learnt, the Gnosis has become known to posterity only through the writings of its opponents. Hence nothing is really known about it. And now think about this question: if nothing were to remain known of Anthroposophy except the writings of my present opponents, if everything were destroyed except their writings—what would be said about Anthroposophy in times to come? Many critics endeavour to treat the numerous anthroposophical books in existence as the Gnostic writings were treated. If these critics were to succeed, nothing would remain except the writings of opponents. It would be to them that people would turn in the first place—to purely antagonistic literature! That would be extremely interesting! External research into the Gnosis had nothing to go on except the writings of opponents! So it is simply nonsense to talk about the ancient Gnosis having been raked up, for nobody could do such a thing without knowledge of the Gnosis derived from its authentic writings, but these have been lost! It cannot be understood from works mostly written by opponents and nothing else has come down to posterity. But even so, to connect the Christ with the Spirit of the Cosmos is accounted to be the greatest sin. In any real conception of the Gospels, every page, every sentence points to the cosmic nature of Christ. But that conception has gradually been rooted out. And it was at the time when the Gnosis had been most thoroughly exterminated that those individuals who when they come again to-day do not get to grips with life, were for the most part incarnated. In that previous incarnation, when they were already clever and intelligent, the culture of the age prevented them from knowing anything about the Earth's connection with the spiritual life in the Cosmos. It was because they stumbled, as it were, through life, thinking of the Earth as enclosed in itself with nothing but physical stars to be seen outside, that in the next incarnation they can only turn to meet the impacts of real life with stumbling steps.
And so we look into the destiny of men. We discover that the culture of the age exercised this influence upon a very large number of human beings, that it made them superficial and they come to the present incarnation already with the tendency to superficiality as I have described to you. For that is how you experience these men, who once, in an earlier incarnation lost connection with the spirit-powers in the Cosmos; in the incarnation following the decisive one referred to, they cannot find the connection with earthly life. But thoughts about karma must do more than introduce mere reflections into our life, they must bring will, activity. We must therefore bear constantly in mind: How will it be in the future, if to the inability to grasp the Spirit in the Cosmos is added the inability to grasp earthly life, if men's attitude to the trivialities of life is no different from their attitude to the deep realities of life? Then indeed the study of karma becomes a serious matter. It can thrive among us only if pursued with the greatest earnestness.
My wish to-day was to consider karma more from the aspect of feeling.
Vierzehnter Vortrag
Wir nähern uns immer mehr und mehr dem Begreifen derjenigen Lebenselemente der einzelnen Persönlichkeiten, die eine Ahnung hervorrufen können von dem Wert des Karma im persönlichen Dasein. Heute wird es meine Aufgabe sein, um allmählich im Verlaufe dieser Vorträge dieses Ziel zu erreichen, auf der einen Seite darauf hinzuweisen, wie die Initiationswissenschaft selbst das Karma prüfen kann, zunächst ausgehend von dem Erleben des Karma, und wie der Mensch dann zunächst ohne Initiationswissenschaft, aber mit einem gewissen intimen Sinn, das Leben zu beobachten, eine Ahnung von dem Walten des Karma erhalten kann. Da erinnern wir uns an dasjenige, was ich gesagt habe über die Erinnerung und jene Gedankenmassen, die aus den Tiefen des Seelenwesens herauffluten, entweder gerufen von unserer Seele, oder auch nicht gerufen frei aufsteigend, und die uns ein zwar schattenhaftes, mehr oder weniger abstraktes, aber doch ein Bild geben von unserem bisherigen Erdendasein, das wir seit der letzten Geburt durchgemacht haben. Wir haben die Aufmerksamkeit in diesen Tagen darauf hinlenken können, was der Mensch verliert, wenn er diese Erinnerung verliert. Er kann dann noch immer ganz gescheit, ganz verständig handeln, aber er handelt nicht aus dem Zusammenhang seines ganzen Lebens heraus; er handelt so, wie wenn er gewissermaßen in dem Zeitpunkte, in dem er also zu handeln beginnt, ohne die Erinnerung an das bisherige Leben wäre; wie wenn er zwar wie ein fertiger, verständiger, vernünftiger Mensch zur Welt gekommen wäre, aber sein vorangehendes Leben gar nicht auf dieser Erde für ihn verflossen wäre, so handelt er. Daraus sehen wir, wie für das Erleben im gegenwärtigen gewöhnlichen Bewußtsein das Ich verankert, begründet ist in der Erinnerung. Auf diesem Erinnerungswege findet sich dann das Ich mit sich selber im Verlaufe dieses Erdenlebens nicht mehr zurecht.
Aber wie haben wir denn diese Erinnerung? Vergleichen wir einmal diese Erinnerung mit der voll erlebten Wirklichkeit, aus der uns diese Erinnerung fließt. Wir stehen darin im Leben, machen es freudvoll und leidvoll durch, finden uns in unseren Erlebnissen mit unserem ganzen Sein verwoben. Aber man vergleiche nur einmal diese ganze intensive Art des Verwobenseins mit dem eigenen Sein, mit der schattenhaften Erinnerung, die wir bewahren in der Seele. Sie müssen nur einmal ein recht bedeutendes Lebensereignis nehmen, den Tod irgendeines Freundes, der Ihnen besonders wert war, oder den Tod vom Vater, von der Mutter, in einer Zeit, in der so etwas wegen unserer Seelenverfassung besonders tief erlebt wird. Vergleichen wir die ganze Intensität des Erlebens und den Moment, wo es erlebt wird, mit dem, was wir an den schattenhaften Erinnerungen, die uns zehn Jahre später kommen, erleben! Und dennoch, diese schattenhaften Erinnerungen müssen wir haben, um die Kontinuität, um die innere Gediegenheit, die Realität unseres Ich im Erdenleben zu erfühlen. Aber sehen Sie nicht daraus, wie das Ich, das gar nicht ohne die Erinnerung im Erdenleben drinnenstehen kann für das gewöhnliche Bewußtsein, wie das Ich eigentlich sich schattenhaft erlebt, wie dieses Ich verankert ist in dem, was im Grunde genommen jede Nacht in das Unbewußte hinuntersinkt? Wir erleben im Grunde genommen nicht sehr intensiv unser Ich im gewöhnlichen Erdenbewußtsein. Es wird immer gedanken- und gedankenhafter, dieses eigentliche Ich des nicht gegenwärtigen Lebens, von welchem wir allerdings wissen, daß es mit dem heutigen Ich zusammenhängt. Dieses gegenwärtige Erleben, das ist intensiv, aber nicht dasjenige, das bereits in die Form der Erinnerung übergegangen ist. So daß wir sagen können (siehe Zeichnung): Wenn dieses unsere auffassende Seele, unser Geist ist, die im lebendigen Verkehr stehen mit alledem, was außen, von der Außenwelt her auf uns einströmt, so erleben wir hinter diesem Ich schattenhaft in der Erinnerung dasjenige, was uns davon bleibt. Und gerade das ist das Charakteristische an dieser Erinnerung, daß immer mehr und mehr die Gefühle, daß auch die Willensimpulse von dieser Erinnerung ausgesiebt werden. Wir mögen mit einem noch so intensiven Gefühl bei dem, was ich charakterisiert habe, bei dem Tode einer uns außerordentlich wertvollen Person gestanden haben: das Erinnerungsbild, welches bleibt, diese Erinnerung wird abgedämpft, immer mehr und mehr abgedämpft im Gefühl. Und erst, wie wenig lebt das, was wir dazumal aus unserem Willensimpulse heraus unter dem äußeren Eindruck unternommen haben, in uns weiter! Gefühl und Wille dämmern ab; das ruhige Erinnerungsbild, ein Schatten des Erlebten, bleibt in der Regel. Und wir können ja nicht anders im Erdenlande sein, als daß dieser Schatten eines Erlebnisses uns bleibt. Anders stehen wir eben der Erinnerung, anders stehen wir dem gegenwärtigen Erlebnis gegenüber.

Aber wir können diesem gegenwärtigen Erlebnis auch in anderer Art gegenübertreten, als wir das im gewöhnlichen Leben gewöhnt sind. Wir können neue Fragen aufwerfen gegenüber unseren Erlebnissen. Da allerdings gewinnt das Leben — dann, wenn wir auf es zurückschauen - eine ganz merkwürdige Gestalt. Fragen wir uns einmal: Was sind wir denn eigentlich im gegenwärtigen Augenblicke, was sind wir mit unserem Wissen, mit der Qualität unseres Fühlens, mit der Energie unseres Wollens? — Und gehen wir mit diesen Fragen, mit diesen neu aufgeworfenen Fragen einmal an unsere Erlebnisse zurück, dann werden wir finden, wie wenig wir wären, wenn wir ein gewisses Lebensalter erreicht haben, wenn nicht die vorangehenden Erlebnisse dagewesen wären! Blicken wir zurück gerade auf manche Jugenderlebnisse, indem wir sie in der Weise dieser Erinnerung auf die Gegenwart beziehen: wie freudig waren diese! Da können wir uns, wenn wir im Leben öfter zurückschauen, etwas höchst Bedeutungsvolles für die Gegenwart sagen. Die Leichtigkeit, mit der wir unsere Seele, ja vielleicht unsere physische Leiblichkeit, mehr oder weniger geschickt dem Leben angepaßt, dutch das Dasein führen, wir verdanken sie eigentlich dem Umstande, daß wir in der Jugend nicht in Depressionen, sondern freudig haben leben dürfen, daß wir an manches mit Freude herangeführt worden sind. Diese seelischen Eindrücke der Freude sind es, die uns mit einer gewissen Freudigkeit, die aber in tiefere Regionen gezogen ist, im späteren Leben ausstatten. Fragen wir uns nun, wieviel von dem, was uns das Leben als Vertiefung bringt, was uns die Seele vertieft, unseren Leiden, unseren Schmerzen zuzuschreiben ist, und fragen wir uns: Was kann denn da eigentlich in der Seele eintreten, wenn wir mit diesen Fragen unser Leben ins Auge fassen? — Die Antwort auf diese Frage müssen wir uns nicht mit dem Verstande geben, die Antwort müssen wir uns mit dem Gefühle geben. Und das Gefühl antwortet: Ich muß alledem, was eingetreten ist im Leben, dankbar sein, weil ich eigentlich derjenige, der ich bin und mit dem ich mich doch mehr oder weniger identifiziere, nur dadurch geworden bin. Ich kann nicht wissen, ob ich sonst nicht noch weniger wäre; ich kann, weil ich durch die großen und kleinen Leiden und Freuden meines Lebens so geworden bin, diesem Leben nur dankbar sein.
Mit einem Gefühl der Dankbarkeit an das Leben muß geantwortet werden auf die charakterisierte Frage. Und es ist viel für das Leben, wenn diese Dankbarkeit für das Erdendasein in die menschliche Seele einzieht. Diese Dankbarkeit tritt bei gewissen Seelenvertiefungen immer ein, wenn man nicht aus Emotion heraus, sondern aus der reinen Seele heraus das Leben beurteilt. Mag manches, was einem das Leben gebracht hat, bedauert werden, in vieler Beziehung ist dasjenige, was ein solches Bedauern ausdrückt, ein rechter Irrtum. Denn stünde dasjenige, was man bedauert, nicht im Leben darinnen, man wäre eben doch nicht das, was man ist. Zuletzt reduziert sich das Gefühl, das man gegenüber dem Leben haben kann, dennoch auf diese Dankbarkeit dem Leben gegenüber. Diese Dankbarkeit kann da sein auch dann, wenn man nicht ganz einverstanden ist mit dem Leben, wenn man gerne mehr vom Leben geschenkt gehabt hätte. Und man kann auch dankbar sein, wenn uns einer einen kleinen Kuchen gibt, von dem man eigentlich das Geschenk eines großen Kuchens erwartet hätte. Das darf durchaus nicht die Dankbarkeit beeinträchtigen, daß man den großen Kuchen erwartet hat. Und so kann schon gesagt werden: Was uns das Leben auch versagt hat nach unserer Meinung, nach unserer Ansicht, die ja nebenbei doch auch irren kann, das Leben hat uns unter allen Umständen etwas gebracht. Für dasjenige, was es uns gebracht hat, sollen wir das Gefühl der Dankbarkeit entwickeln. Aber wenn man in allem Ernst das Gefühl der Dankbarkeit entwickelt, so muß - man braucht sich nur zu besinnen, man wird es gleich durchschauen — die Dankbarkeit da sein gegenüber irgend etwas anderem. Wer jemals Dankbarkeit für das Leben entwickelt hat, der wird gerade durch die Dankbarkeit für das Leben zur Anerkennung und zur Umwandlung der Erinnerung in liebende Hingabe an die unsichtbaren geistigen Lebensgeber hingeführt.
Und es ist die schönste Art, von seiner Persönlichkeit aus zum Übersinnlichen hingeführt zu werden, wenn diese Führung durch die Dankbarkeit geht, durch die Dankbarkeit gegenüber dem Leben. Diese Dankbarkeit, sie ist auch ein Weg ins Übersinnliche, und sie landet zuletzt bei der Verehrung und bei der Liebe zu dem lebenspendenden Geist des Menschen. Die Dankbarkeit gebiert die Liebe. Die Liebe gebiert dann, wenn sie aus der Dankbarkeit für das Leben geboren ist, das Aufschließen des Herzens für die das Leben durchdringenden Geistesmächte. Und da das Leben mit unserer Geburt begonnen hat und wir unmöglich mit diesem Danke bloß beginnen können bei der Geburt, da wir mit gewissen Eigenschaften augenscheinlich schon in das Leben hineingestellt sind, so ist es ja soweit ganz zweifellos, daß der Dank gegenüber dem Leben auch aus diesem Leben ins vorgeburtliche Dasein hinausführt. Um das, was ich jetzt sage, voll einzusehen, dazu gehört allerdings das Ausprüfen im Leben. Aber man prüfe einmal, wenn man die doch aus der unbefangenen Lebensbetrachtung hervorgehende Dankbarkeit entwickelt, man prüfe, ob nicht wirklich die geist-einsichtige Liebe aus dieser Dankbarkeit geboren wird, und man wird finden, daß es so ist. Die Frage, die hier aufgeworfen wird, kann eben nur durch das wirkliche Leben selbst beantwortet werden. Aber dieses wirkliche Leben antwortet so, wie ich jetzt auseinandergesetzt habe. Wenn wir aber in der Art herangehen an unsere Erlebnisse, so die Dankbarkeit entwickeln, die Liebe zu den lebenspendenden Geistmächten entwickeln, dann bekommen wir bei diesem Hinschauen gegenüber den Erlebnissen ein ganz anderes Gefühl als bei dem Hinschauen gegenüber der Erinnerung. Bei der Erinnerung müssen wir sagen: Lebendig, intensiv, real erleben wir; in der Erinnerung steht ein bloßer Schatten desjenigen da, was wir erleben, da wird das, was wir erleben, zu blassen Schatten. Die Erinnerung verdankt unseren Erlebnissen ihr Dasein; aber jetzt treten wir an etwas heran, was mächtiger ist als unser gewöhnliches Ich.
Denn nicht bloß unsere schattenhaften Erinnerungen haben wir im Auge, wenn wir hinschauen auf die Erlebnisse, die uns umgeben haben. Wir haben etwas Mächtiges im Auge: Wir haben dasjenige im Auge, das nicht ein Schatten unseres durch die Zeit hinflutenden Ich ist, sondern der Schöpfer dieses durch die Zeit hinflutenden ErdenIch. Da draußen sind überall die Ereignisse, denen wir unser Dasein verdanken, und wir müssen, wenn wir auf diese Ereignisse schauen, sie als mächtige Schöpfer unseres Erden-Ich hinstellen. So stehen wir mit unserem augenblicklichen, gegenwärtigen Ich mitten drinnen: da, rückwärts, wenn wir in unsere Seele schauen, schattenhafte Nachbilder des Erlebens; vor uns das webende Schicksal, die aufeinanderfolgenden Schicksalserlebnisse, die unser Ich erst mächtig geformt, gestaltet haben. Zu diesem mächtigen Fühlen der Schicksalsgestaltung gehört eben der Übergang vom Denken zum Fühlen, denn Dankbarkeit und Liebe kann man nur im Fühlen erleben. In diesem Liebegefühl offenbart sich zunächst die Ahnung gegenüber dem waltenden Schicksal. Und damit beginnt es, daß man das waltende Schicksal erahnt, daß man nach dem Durchgang durch Dankbarkeit und Liebe mächtig fühlt die dahinflutenden Ereignisse, die uns gemacht haben. Es kann irgend jemand mit dem vierzigsten Jahre im Leben drinnenstehen. Er ist etwas. Sagen wir, um ein ganz extremes Beispiel zu nehmen: Er ist ein berühmter Dichter geworden - es hat ja auch solche gegeben; ich könnte auch sagen, ein berühmter Physiologe, Physiker, da würde ich ein naheliegendes Beispiel haben, aber ich will ein ausgedachtes Beispiel anführen -, der blickte zurück bis in sein achtzehntes Lebensjahr. Er nimmt die Ereignisse von seinem vierzigsten bis zum achtzehnten Lebensjahr und stößt im achtzehnten Lebensjahr darauf, daß er im Abiturium durchgefallen ist. Es hat ihm dazumal großen Schmerz bereitet. Aber er hat sich das Leben anders einrichten müssen, da er nicht genug Geld hatte, das Jahr zu repetieren oder als durchgefallener Abiturient durch die weite Welt zu ziehen. Alles war schon vorbereitet: Wäre er beim Abiturium gut durchgekommen, er wäre ein gediegener Finanzinspektor geworden, hätte da außerordentlich viel geleistet, hätte keine Zeit gehabt, die im Untergrunde seiner Seele liegenden Fähigkeiten und Kräfte zu entwickeln. Gewiß, man kann sagen: Wenn diese Phantasiekräfte vorhanden sind, so sind sie so stark, daß sie sich unter allen Umständen dutch die finanzwirtschaftliche Tätigkeit durchdrücken. - Das kann man im Abstrakten sagen, sagt es auch immer; wahr ist es aber nicht. In Wirklichkeit verdankt mancher Dichter geradezu sein besonderes Temperament, dasjenige, was er geworden ist, dem Umstand, daß ihm so etwas, wie ich es angeführt habe, passiert ist. Er wird dankbar sein - wenn er irgendeinen Wert darauf legt, daß er der berühmte Dichter geworden ist — denjenigen, die ihn haben durchfallen lassen und die nicht verhindert haben seine Laufbahn dadurch, daß sie ihm «ausgezeichnet » in jedem einzelnen Fache gegeben haben. So können wir durchaus, wie auch das Leben war — wenn wir es real, nicht sentimental nehmen -, diese Dankbarkeit entwickeln und können sagen: Geschmiedet sind wir aus dem Schicksal heraus, das mit uns und gegen uns geht. — Aber wir müssen doch diese Gefühle durchgehen, um das Schicksal gewissermaßen vor uns weben und leben zu sehen.
Da möchte ich einschalten, wie nun dieselben Erlebnisse derjenige vor sich hat, der im Besitz der Initiationswissenschaft ist, der also in die geistige Welt hineinschauen kann. Dem steht die Möglichkeit offen, in der folgenden Weise die Sache durchzuleben.
Er richtet den Blick, der nun schon geschärft ist dadurch, daß er eine imaginative, inspirierte Erkenntnis hat — was diese bedeuten, Sie können es nachlesen in meinem Buche «Wie erlangt man Erkenntnisse der höheren Welten?» -, auf irgendein Erlebnis. Wer seine Erkenntnis verdichtet und erkraftet hat, der kann diese seine Erkenntnis mit einer besonderen Intensität auf irgendein Erleben, das er in der Gegenwart hat, hinrichten. Man wird ja, wenn man Initiationserkenntnisse hat, nicht etwa schwächer, sondern stärker von dem Erlebnis getroffen, als wenn man nicht diese Erkenntnis hat. Man darf nicht etwa aus dem Umstande, daß derjenige, der Initiationserkenntnis hat, scheinbar mit viel größerer Gelassenheit an den Erlebnissen vorbeigeht als jener, der sie nicht hat, man darf daraus nicht schließen, daß er weniger stark davon berührt wird. Er wird viel stärker berührt als der andere. Er hat sich nur auch gerade gegenüber den harten Ereignissen des Lebens die Kräfte errungen, sie nach außen hin in Gelassenheit zu betrachten; in der Tiefe fühlt er sie bedeutungsvoller als der andere sie fühlt. Daher schattieren sich die Erlebnisse, wenn der mit Imagination, Inspiration Begabte sie vor sich hat, intensiv und stark; und er kann, weil er sie ja erübt hat - er hat ja Übungen dafür in diesem und im vorigen Leben durchgemacht -, diese Ereignisse in voll-inhaltliche Bilder sich gestalten, selber in Imaginationen umwandeln.
Worinnen besteht dieses Umwandeln? Es besteht eben darin, daß von den Ereignissen, den Erlebnissen nicht nur dasjenige, was man mit den Augen sieht, dasteht, sondern daß das tiefere Geistige, die geistigen Zusammenhänge dastehen, daß ein Bild da ist, welches man auch dann mit sich herumträgt, wenn das Erlebnis nicht mehr dasteht; aber das Bild steht alsdann gleich da. Das Erleben ist eben intensiv, und durch die Imagination spielen die geistigen Zusammenhänge hinein; die Seele wird intensiv berührt, und es ist dann möglich, in das Geistige hineinzuschauen und das Erlebnis zu behalten. Vergeht eine Nacht, so wird dann durch den Schlaf das Erlebnis, das dadurch intensiver erlebt worden ist, daß der astralische Leib und das Ich aus dem physischen Leibe herausgehen, in die geistige Welt hinausgetragen. Dasjenige, was man in der physischen Welt, mit physischem und Ätherleib zusammen erlebt hat, das kann allein erlebt werden mit dem Ich und dem astralischen Leib in der geistigen Welt; dann aber treibt man es beim Aufwachen wiederum zurück in den physischen Leib. Aber man trägt es jetzt nicht so zurück, wie das gewöhnliche Bewußtsein es zurückträgt, das dann auf die Erinnerung angewiesen ist, die sich allmählich abschattet; man trägt es so zurück, daß man wie mit einem Phantom sein ganzes Wesen nun durchdringt, daß man es mit sich trägt in voller Gegenständlichkeit, in aller Intensität, daß es einen aus einem Schein umtönt wie die wirkliche Realität einesanderen Menschen, der leibhaft vor einem steht. Und dann vergehen wiederum zwei oder drei Tage oder Nächte. Und was dann eintritt nach diesen zwei oder drei Tagen und Nächten, ist das Folgende: Was man zuerst hinaufgetragen hat mit dem Ich und dem astralischen Leib in die geistige Welt, was man wieder zurückgebracht hat, so daß es also im physischen Leibe kraftet und lebt und vibriert, das spricht — das stellt sich jetzt heraus - und steht hinter den Erlebnissen als das waltende Schicksal. Die Erlebnisse sind nicht allein da, sondern diese Erlebnisse sind jetzt durchströmt von dem, was sie hervorgebracht hat in früheren Erdenleben, von dem, wie sie weiter wirken werden in den folgenden Erdenleben. Wie wir die Erinnerung als ein schattenhaftes Nachbild hinter uns hinstellen, so stellt derjenige, der Initiationswissenschaft hat, die Erlebnisse vor sich hin, so daß die Erlebnisse unmittelbar vor ihm sind. Aber die werden durchsichtig wie Glas, und dahinter steht wie eine mächtige Welterinnerung das werdende Karma, die objektive Erinnerung. Und man wird gewahr, daß der Mensch nicht nur in sich drinnen hat die schattenhaften Erinnerungen an das Erdenleben, sondern daß eingegraben ist um ihn herum in den Weltenäther, in die Akasha-Chronik sein Karma. Da drinnen ist die schattenhafte Erinnerung; da draußen ist die kosmische Erinnerung unseres Schicksals durch die Erdenleben hindurch, wenn es auch für das gewöhnliche Bewußtsein unbewußt bleibt.

Wir gehen so durch die Welt, daß wir schematisch unseren Gang durch die Welt so zeichnen können (siehe Zeichnung S. 229). Wir gehen hin über den Erdboden, wir haben in uns die schattenhaften Erinnerungen. Würden wir uns einen Menschen vorstellen und diese schattenhaften Erinnerungen in ihm, wir müßten sie wie eine kleine Wolke in dem Gebiete seines Kopfes vorstellen - da, wo der Kopf allmählich übergeht in den Leib -, welche allmählich immer schattenhafter wird gegen den Leib hin. Indem der Mensch so durch die Welt schreitet, ist er umgeben wie von einem ätherischen Nebel, in dem eingeschrieben sind alle Erlebnisse, aber auch alles das, was vom vorigen Erdenleben in ihm eingeschrieben ist. Wir haben eine innere Erinnerung, und wir haben die Erinnerung der Welt außer uns. Jeder Mensch ist mit dieser Aura umgeben. Nicht nur in uns hinein ist erinnerungsgemäß eingegraben das gegenwärtige Erdenleben, sondern um uns herum sind die Erdenleben des Menschen eingegraben. Nicht immer ist es leicht, diese Erinnerung zu entziffern, aber sie ist da. Die Entzifferung ist schwierig, und diejenigen Fälle, in denen ich Ihnen von solcher Entzifferung gesprochen habe in den vergangenen Tagen, sie waren nicht leicht in die Erkenntnis hinaufzubringen. Aber da ist alles. Der Mensch hat nicht nur ein Gedächtnis in sich, der Mensch hat ein aurisches Gedächtnis um sich herum. Es ist nicht möglich, in einem einzigen Augenblick - da, wo man sich dem nähert, was man im Erdenleben durchgemacht hat - dieses Gedächtnis heranzuholen. Dieses “ Gedächtnis braucht immer Tage. Da muß mitarbeiten das Aufwachen und Einschlafen, wie ich es beschrieben habe. Es kann niemals gesagt werden, irgendein Erleben ist da, man soll sich erinnern, wie es gestaltet ist aus früheren Erdenleben heraus. Man muß dieses Erleben klar und imaginativ und mit seiner es durchdringenden Inspiration ins Auge fassen; dann muß man warten, bis es sich enthüllt. Der geistigen Welt gegenüber darf man mit den Forschungen niemals spekulieren, niemals etwas ausdenken, sondern nur die Vorbereitungen treffen, daß etwas aus der geistigen Welt heraus sich offenbaren kann. Wer da glaubt, die geistige Welt zwingen zu können, daß sie ihm dieses oder jenes offenbart, der wird sich gar sehr irren, der wird nur Irrtümer aus ihr herausbekommen. Man muß vorbereiten dasjenige, was man erhoffen kann, mehr oder weniger gnadevoll geoffenbart zu bekommen aus der geistigen Welt heraus.
Sehen Sie, das ist der Erkenntnisweg, der mit der Initiationswissenschaft das Karma enthüllen kann. Durch ihn wird enthüllt, daß jeder Mensch das Karma wie eine Art Aura um sich trägt. Aber von dem, was der Mensch so an sich trägt, kann man auf diesem Wege der Dankbarkeit im Leben, wie ich sie geschildert habe, eine Ahnung bekommen. Man kann diese Ahnung von dem Eingeschlossensein in einen solchen karmisch-aurischen Mantel bekommen. Nur wird es nicht im Laufe von einigen Tagen gehen, wie bei der Initiations-Erkenntnis, sondern es wird sich bei einer intimeren Selbstbeobachtung des Menschen einstellen nach und nach oftmals für weit zurückliegende Ereignisse, auf die wir gerade den Blick wenden. Aber wenn ein gewisses Ereignis aus der Vergangenheit unseres Erdenlebens reif ist dazu, von uns so beurteilt zu werden, daß wir in es hereinspielen sehen die vorbereitenden Kräfte früherer Erdenleben, so bekommen wir schon eine Ahnung. Nur ist leider heute dasjenige im Seelenleben des Menschen ziemlich selten, was so tief in die eigene Seele hineinschürft, daß es bis zu dieser Auffassung des eigenen Erlebnisses kommt, an das man auch nur in diesem Dankbarkeitsgefühl herandringt. Das Leben wird heute von den Menschen viel zu äußerlich genommen. Man stürmt durch das Leben, hält nicht still an dem Erfühlen der einzelnen Erlebnisse. Es ist schon so: Wenn man mit einer gewissen Empfindung von der kosmischen Bedeutung des Menschenlebens aufgewachsen ist, dann könnte es einem in unserer Zeit manchmal ganz merkwürdig erscheinen, wie wenig die Menschen in Wirklichkeit eigentlich das sind, was sie vorstellen, wie stark die Menschen oftmals einfach mitgenommen werden vom Leben, ohne in diesem Leben individuell stark etwas zu sein.
Ich möchte auch da an konkrete einzelne Fälle anknüpfen. sehen Sie, da fiel mir einmal im Leben ein Geschichtslehrer auf, ein Geschichtslehrer, der ein sehr gescheiter Mann war, auch auf seine Schüler den Eindruck eines sehr gescheiten Mannes machte, der, man konnte sagen, wenn er wollte, mit einer gewissen inneren Begeisterung, die er in die Betonung seiner Rede hineinlegte, die Geschichte seinen Schülern vortrug, so daß sich schon, wenn gerade der richtige Augenblick da war, Enthusiasmus für diesen Geschichtslehrer entwickeln konnte. Es war etwas Merkwürdiges mit diesem Geschichtslehrer. Ich sah ihn auftreten, wie er in der Tat unter seinen Schülern zunächst Enthusiasmus entwickeln konnte. Dann nahm ihn das Leben an dem Orte, wo er war, gefangen; er wurde nachlässig, er brachte nicht mehr die eigene Begeisterung auf, die er früher in seine Vorträge hineingelegt hatte. Er las vor aus Büchern, von denen er glaubte, daß die Schüler sie nicht kennen und auch nicht an sie herankommen würden. Nun ist einer der Schüler einmal dem nachgestiegen und hat nachgeschaut, aus welchem Buche das war, was er vorgelesen hatte. Da haben es sich alle Schüler gekauft und haben alles auswendig gelernt, und waren «ausgezeichnete Schüler». Er wurde endlich so oberflächlich, daß er gar nicht mehr dabei war bei dem, was er in seiner Klasse vor seinen Schülern vorbrachte. Nach einer verhältnismäßig kurzen Zeit hatte sich diese Umwandlung vollzogen, und man mußte sich schon wundern, wie wenig er dabei war, nachdem er vor ganz kurzer Zeit noch Begeisterung hervorgerufen hatte. Wieder vergingen ein paar Jahre, und derselbe Geschichtslehrer, von dem ich eine ganze Anzahl von Schülern hatte sagen hören in ordentlicher Begeisterung der Jugend: Das ist einmal ein Mann, der für Geschichte schwärmt, bei dem kann man etwas lernen! -, endete ganz merkwürdig in der trivialsten Lebensversumpfung. In wenigen Jahren war er so stark im trivialen Leben versumpft, daß er außerhalb der Stadt wohnen mußte, in welcher er Lehrer war, weil er so wenig Ansehen hatte, daß er gar nicht in der Stadt wohnen konnte.
Eine solche Schicksalswendung, die erscheint einem doch als eine große Rätselfrage, und gerade an solchen Schicksalswendungen beginnt man, wenn man das Leben tief genug auffaßt, die karmischen Fragen zu stellen. Denn zahlreiche andere Menschen - wie soll ich sagen - wursteln halt so fort, indem sie so bleiben, wie sie sind, indem sie nicht solche radikalen Wendungen durchmachen. Lebt man dann in der wirklichen Geist-Erkenntnis drinnen, so werden solche Schicksale wie das, was ich Ihnen erzähle, eben zu großen Problemen. Wir werden auf der einen Seite durch Geist-Erkenntnis herangeführt zu den großen Problemen, die uns gestern am Ende einer Inkarnationenreihe Woodrow Wilson gezeigt haben, aber auf der anderen Seite werden wir in dem Leben, das uns unmittelbar umgibt, an die großen Schicksalsfragen des Menschen im Denken herangeführt. Man findet dann schon heraus, wenn man so etwas ganz unbefangen betrachtet: das kann doch nicht aus diesem Leben, in dem man gerade ist, herrühren! Und zahlreich werden in einem Erdenleben noch ganz andere Fälle sein, die nicht eine solche Schicksalswendung finden; da muß man dann mit seinem ganzen Menschenfotschen eingreifen in die Sehnsucht nach dem Verständnis solcher Schicksalsfragen. Und dann stellen sich neben solche Fälle andere hin. Ich will noch ein Beispiel anführen. Gerade diese Beispiele schienen mir immer so — um meiner Anschauung über das Karma die nötige Farbe zu geben — durch mein eigenes Karma mir auf den Weg hingestellt.
Ich habe eine andere Persönlichkeit, auch einen Lehrer, persönlich kennengelernt. Der war eigentlich noch mehr verehrt als dieser andere, von dem ich gesprochen habe, war ganz außerordentlich verehrt von den Schülern. Die Schüler hatten so die Vorstellung: Das ist der größte Weise, der überhaupt gegenwärtig in der Welt existiert. - Solchen Eindruck hat der Betreffende auf seine Schüler gemacht - nicht auf alle, zum Beispiel nicht auf mich selbst, aber das ist eine Privatsache, das ist nicht charakteristisch — aber auf zahlreiche Schüler. Nun trug sich etwas höchst Merkwürdiges zu. Während man hätte glauben können aus der Art und Weise, wie sich das Verhältnis dieses Herrn zu seinen Schülern begründete — er hatte ja mit allem Enthusiasmus, mit jeder Fiber seiner Seele drinnengesteckt, so daß der Unterricht ihn scheinbar befriedigte -, entdeckte man plötzlich an ihm, daß er außerordentlich froh war, nicht mehr unterrichten zu brauchen, weil er zum Direktor ernannt worden war einer viel minderwertigeren Schule, als die war, an der er früher unterrichtet hatte. Er war froh, die Direktorengeschäfte machen zu können, die ja viel trivialer waren als das eigentliche Unterrichten. Und das Allerauffälligste, das Allerfrappierendste war, daß dieser selbe Mann, der begeistert reden konnte von Homer und Äschylos, der in wunderbarer Weise die Geographie seinen Schülern auseinandersetzte, daß dieser selbe Mann im trivial-politischen Parteiwesen endete. Geradezu unbegreiflich!
Ich führe dieses Beispiel eben nur als Beispiel an, denn ich könnte zu den beiden, die ich angeführt habe, noch eine ganze Anzahl hinzufügen. Es würden das solche Persönlichkeiten der weiter ausgebreiteten Gegenwart sein, bei denen man eigentlich das Gefühl hat: die sind wenig in ihrem Ich vom Leben ergriffen worden. Sie stehen als Persönlichkeiten da, die wenig vom Leben individuell ergriffen worden sind, sondern das Leben faßte sie von außen an. Faßt es sie einmal an, wenn sie noch nahestehen ihrer Seminarprüfung, ihrer Universitätsbildung, wo sie begeistert gehört haben, dann sind sie mit Begeisterung drinnen. Faßt das Leben sie mehr mit Trivialem an, dann finden sie sich ins Triviale hinein, dann sind sie auch zufrieden; nichts faßt ganz tief die Seele in ihnen. Wenn es nach der Gescheitheit ginge, nach der Verständigkeit - ja, wie viele Menschen wären heute Anthroposophen! Denn gescheit genug zur Anthroposophie sind heute Millionen und aber Millionen von Menschen. Dasjenige, was in unserer Zeit hindert, gerade an Anthroposophie heranzukommen, das ist dieses: das Leben oberflächlich nehmen mit seiner Seele, mit seiner Seele gar nicht hinkommen zu dem Leben, das Leben so vorüberfluten lassen in seinen Tiefen und in seinen Oberflächen und Banalitäten. Man geht in das eine Leben hinein wie in das andere, kann eine Zeitlang ein kleiner Schulreformer sein, nachher den ganzen Tag im Kaffeehaus sitzen und Billard spielen, den lieben langen Tag gar nicht eine Pause darin machen. Solche Dinge ereignen sich ja in unserem Leben.
Sehen Sie, da entsteht die große Frage: Wie kommt das zustande? — Für zahlreiche Seelen zeigt es sich, auf welch merkwürdige Weise das zustande gekommen ist. Eine ganze Anzahl solcher Persönlichkeiten wie ich sie durch die beiden Exempel geschildert habe, führen einen zurück in die ersten christlichen Jahrhunderte, wo diese Persönlichkeiten ihre maßgebenden früheren Erdenleben hatten, in diejenigen christlichen Jahrhunderte, wo das Christentum im Süden und auch schon etwas in der Mitte von Europa die Gestalt angenommen hatte, die es später vielfach für den Menschen beibehalten hat; wo jene Mysterienweisheit verglommen war, von der ich gezeigt habe in meinem Buch «Das Christentum als mystische Tatsache », daß aus ihr das Christentum herausgewachsen ist, das kosmische Christus-Erlebnis, das Wissen davon, daß aus der Sonne, die ein Geistiges ist im Kosmos, der Christus ausgegangen ist und auf die Erde gekommen ist, um der Erde das zu sein, was es ihr geworden ist. Dieses Wissen, das von der Erde heraus sich weitet in kosmische Geistigkeit hinein, dieses Wissen war bei den maßgebenden christlichen Menschen im ersten Jahrhundert vorhanden und verglomm im vierten, fünften, sechsten, siebenten nachchristlichen Jahrhundert. Dann verglomm es so sehr, daß es ja heute so weit gekommen ist - aber dazumal hat es schon begonnen -, daß der größte Vorwurf für die Auffassung des Christus durch die Anthroposophie darin besteht: die Anthroposophie fasse den Christus als ein kosmisches Wesen, als ein Sonnenwesen auf. Sie sehen es überall bei den Gegnern: das wird der Anthroposophie zur größten Sünde gerechnet, daß sie den Christus kosmologisch auffaßt. Da wird gesagt: Das ist ein Aufwärmen dessen, was einmal als gnostisches Christentum da war. - Nun wissen die Leute ja nicht, was gnostisches Christentum überhaupt ist. Denn außer einigem Wenigen, aus dem wenig zu entnehmen ist, wie die Pistis Sophia, ist ja die Gnosis der Nachwelt nur durch die Gegnerschriften bekanntgeworden. Gnosis kennt man eigentlich nicht. Man weiß nur durch die Gegnerschriften davon. Denken Sie einmal über die Frage nach: Wenn von der Anthroposophie nichts bekannt bleiben würde als die Schriften meiner heutigen Gegner, wenn alles vernichtet würde außer den Schriften meiner Gegner, wie man da Anthroposophie in der Nachwelt schildern würde! — Das ist, was von manchen Leuten angestrebt wird und von manchen Kritikern: die anthroposophischen Bücher, die ja zahlreich vorhanden sind, so zu behandeln wie die gnostischen Schriften. Dann wären nur die Schriften der Gegner da; sie wären das erste, worauf man hinsehen würde: lauter Gegnerbücher! Das wäre höchst interessant. In bezug auf die Gnosis konnten die Menschen für die äußere Forschung nichts anderes bekommen als die Gegnerbücher. So daß der Satz ein einfacher Unsinn ist: «Die alte Gnosis wird aufgewärmt»; denn niemand kann es tun, der nicht die Gnosis selber kennt aus ihren Schriften, diese aber sind verlorengegangen! Aus Schriften, die zumeist von Gegnern geschrieben sind, kann man sie nicht kennenlernen; etwas anderes ist aber nicht auf die Nachwelt gekommen. Aber immerhin, auch das zeigt, daß es einem als die größte Sünde angerechnet wird, wenn man den Christus zusammenbringt mit dem Geiste des Kosmos. In einer wirklichen Auffassung der Evangelien muß jede Seite, jeder Satz der Evangelien auf das Kosmische im Christus hinweisen. Aber das ist allmählich vertilgt worden. Und in der Zeit, in der es am meisten vertilgt worden ist, sind zumeist diejenigen Menschen inkarniert gewesen, die, wenn sie heute wiederkommen, nicht den Anschluß an das Leben finden, weil sie in ihrer vorigen Inkarnation, wo sie auch schon klug und gescheit waren, unmöglich durch ihre Zeitbildung etwas wissen konnten über den Zusammenhang der Erde mit dem geistigen Leben im Kosmos. Weil sie gewissermaßen so hintaumelten durch das Leben, wie wenn die Erde nur ganz in sich selber abgeschlossen wäre und da draußen nichts zu sehen wäre als physische Sterne, wenden sie sich bei ihrer Wiederverkörperung gleichsam hintaumelnd an das auf sie wirkende reale Leben.
So schaut man in das Schicksal der Menschen hinein. Man kommt darauf, wie die Zeitbildung auf eine ganz große Menge von Menschen diesen Einfluß genommen hat, daß sie sie veroberflächlicht hat und sie schon mit der Anlage zur Veroberflächlichung in diesem Leben erscheinen, wie ich es Ihnen geschildert habe. Denn so erleben Sie diese Menschen, die einmal in einer früheren Inkarnation den Zusammenhang mit den Geistesmächten im Kosmos verloren haben: sie können in der nächsten Inkarnation, für welche die betreffende maßgebend war, den Zusammenhang mit dem irdischen Leben nicht finden. Alle kosmischen Gedanken sollen aber nicht bloß Betrachtungen in unser Leben hineinbringen, sondern Wille, Tat. Und da müssen wir denn doch bedenken: Wie wird es in der Zukunft gehen, wenn nun zu dem Nicht-Erfassen des Geistes im Kosmos auch noch das Nicht-Erfassen des irdischen Lebens kommt, das Hingehen durch die Trivialitäten in derselben Art wie durch die Tiefen des Lebens? - Da wird die Karmabetrachtung
wirklich ernst. Sie kann nur in ernstester Weise unter uns leben. Ich wollte heute mehr von der Gefühlsseite aus eine Karmabetrachtung geben.
Fourteenth Lecture
We are approaching more and more the comprehension of those elements of the life of individual personalities which can give us an idea of the value of karma in personal existence. Today it will be my task, in order to reach this goal gradually in the course of these lectures, to point out on the one hand how initiation science itself can test karma, starting first from the experience of karma, and how man can then, at first without initiation science, but with a certain intimate sense of observing life, obtain an inkling of the workings of karma. Here we remember what I have said about memory and those masses of thoughts that flood up from the depths of the soul being, either called by our soul or not called, rising freely, and which give us a shadowy, more or less abstract, but nevertheless a picture of our previous earthly existence, which we have gone through since the last birth. These days we have been able to draw attention to what people lose when they lose this memory. He can then still act quite cleverly, quite intelligently, but he does not act out of the context of his whole life; he acts as if he were, so to speak, without the memory of his previous life at the time when he thus begins to act; as if he had come into the world as a finished, intelligent, reasonable man, but his previous life had not passed for him on this earth at all, that is how he acts. From this we see how the ego is anchored in the experience of the present ordinary consciousness, how it is founded in memory. In this way of remembering, the ego then no longer comes to terms with itself in the course of this earthly life.
But how do we have this memory? Let us compare this memory with the fully experienced reality from which this memory flows. We stand in it in life, go through it joyfully and sorrowfully, find ourselves interwoven with our whole being in our experiences. But just compare this whole intense way of being interwoven with our own being, with the shadowy memory that we retain in our soul. You only have to take a really significant life event, the death of a friend who was particularly important to you, or the death of a father or mother, at a time when something like this is experienced particularly deeply because of the state of our soul. Let us compare the intensity of the experience and the moment in which it is experienced with the shadowy memories that come to us ten years later! And yet, we must have these shadowy memories in order to feel the continuity, the inner solidity, the reality of our ego in earthly life. But don't you see from this how the ego, which cannot exist in earthly life without memory for the ordinary consciousness, how the ego actually experiences itself in a shadowy way, how this ego is anchored in what basically sinks down into the unconscious every night? Basically, we do not experience our ego very intensively in ordinary earthly consciousness. It becomes more and more thoughtful and thoughtful, this actual ego of the non-present life, of which we know, however, that it is connected with the present ego. This present experience is intense, but not that which has already passed over into the form of memory. So that we can say (see drawing): If this is our grasping soul, our spirit, which is in living contact with all that flows in upon us from the outside world, then behind this ego we experience in a shadowy way in memory that which remains for us. And precisely this is the characteristic of this memory, that more and more the feelings, that also the impulses of will are sifted out of this memory. No matter how intensely we may have felt what I have described at the death of a person who was extraordinarily valuable to us, the memory that remains is dampened, more and more dampened in our feelings. And only how little does that which we then undertook out of our impulse of will under the external impression live on in us! Feeling and will fade away; the calm memory, a shadow of the experience, usually remains. And we cannot be on earth in any other way than that this shadow of an experience remains with us. We have a different attitude towards memory, a different attitude towards the present experience.

But we can also face this present experience in a different way than we are used to in ordinary life. We can raise new questions about our experiences. However, when we look back on life, it takes on a very strange shape. Let's ask ourselves: What are we actually in the present moment, what are we with our knowledge, with the quality of our feelings, with the energy of our will? - And if we go back to our experiences with these questions, with these newly raised questions, then we will find how little we would be when we have reached a certain age if the previous experiences had not been there! Let us look back on some of the experiences of our youth by relating them to the present in the manner of this memory: how joyful they were! If we look back more often in life, we can tell ourselves something extremely meaningful for the present. The ease with which we lead our soul, perhaps even our physical body, more or less skillfully adapted to life, through existence, we actually owe it to the fact that in our youth we were not allowed to live in depression, but joyfully, that we were introduced to many things with joy. It is these mental impressions of joy that endow us with a certain joyfulness in later life, which, however, has moved into deeper regions. Let us now ask ourselves how much of what life brings us as deepening, what deepens our soul, can be attributed to our suffering, our pain, and let us ask ourselves: What can actually occur in the soul when we look at our life with these questions in mind? - We don't have to answer this question with our intellect, we have to answer it with our feelings. And the feeling answers: I must be grateful for everything that has happened in my life, because I have only become who I am and with whom I more or less identify because of it. I can't know if I wouldn't be even less otherwise; I can only be grateful to this life because I have become this way through the great and small sufferings and joys of my life.
The answer to the characteristic question must be given with a feeling of gratitude to life. And it is much for life when this gratitude for life on earth enters the human soul. This gratitude always occurs with certain deepenings of the soul, when one does not judge life out of emotion, but out of the pure soul. We may regret some of the things that life has brought us, but in many respects the expression of such regret is a real mistake. For if that which one regrets were not in life, one would not be what one is. Ultimately, the feeling that one can have towards life is nevertheless reduced to this gratitude towards life. This gratitude can also be there when you are not entirely happy with life, when you would have liked to have been given more from life. And we can also be grateful when someone gives us a small cake when we would actually have expected the gift of a large cake. This must not detract from the gratitude that we expected the big cake. And so it can be said: Whatever life has denied us in our opinion, in our opinion, which can also be mistaken, life has brought us something under all circumstances. We should develop a feeling of gratitude for what it has brought us. But if you develop a feeling of gratitude in all seriousness, then - you only need to think about it, you will see through it in a moment - there must be gratitude towards something else. Anyone who has ever developed gratitude for life is led precisely through gratitude for life to recognition and to the transformation of memory into loving devotion to the invisible spiritual givers of life.
And it is the most beautiful way to be led from one's personality to the supersensible when this guidance goes through gratitude, through gratitude towards life. This gratitude is also a path to the supersensible, and it ultimately leads to reverence and love for the life-giving spirit of man. Gratitude gives birth to love. When it is born out of gratitude for life, love gives birth to the opening of the heart to the spiritual powers that permeate life. And since life began with our birth and we cannot possibly begin with this gratitude merely at birth, since we are obviously already placed in life with certain qualities, it is quite undoubted that gratitude to life also leads out of this life into the prenatal existence. In order to fully understand what I am now saying, it is necessary to examine it in life. But once you have developed the gratitude that arises from an unbiased view of life, check whether spiritual, insightful love is not really born out of this gratitude, and you will find that it is so. The question raised here can only be answered by real life itself. But this real life answers it in the way I have now explained. But if we approach our experiences in this way, develop gratitude, develop love for the life-giving spiritual powers, then we get a completely different feeling when we look at our experiences than when we look at our memories. In the case of memory we have to say: we experience things vividly, intensely, really; in memory there is a mere shadow of what we experience, what we experience becomes a pale shadow. Memory owes its existence to our experiences; but now we are approaching something that is more powerful than our ordinary self.
For it is not just our shadowy memories that we have in mind when we look at the experiences that have surrounded us. We have something powerful in mind: we have in mind that which is not a shadow of our ego flowing through time, but the creator of this earthly ego flowing through time. Out there everywhere are the events to which we owe our existence, and when we look at these events we must see them as powerful creators of our earthly ego. Thus we stand with our momentary, present ego in the middle of it: there, backwards, when we look into our soul, shadowy afterimages of experience; in front of us the weaving fate, the successive experiences of fate, which have first powerfully formed and shaped our ego. The transition from thinking to feeling is part of this powerful feeling of shaping destiny, because gratitude and love can only be experienced through feeling. In this feeling of love, the intuition towards the ruling destiny is first revealed. And thus it begins that one senses the ruling fate, that after passing through gratitude and love one feels powerfully the flowing events that have made us. Anyone can be forty years old in life. He is something. Let's say, to take a very extreme example: He has become a famous poet - there have been such people; I could also say a famous physiologist, physicist, I would have an obvious example, but I will give a made-up example - he looked back to his eighteenth year. He takes the events from his fortieth to his eighteenth year and in his eighteenth year comes across the fact that he failed his A-levels. It caused him great pain at the time. But he had to arrange his life differently, as he didn't have enough money to repeat the year or travel the world as a failed school leaver. Everything was already prepared: If he had done well in his A-levels, he would have become a solid financial inspector, would have achieved an extraordinary amount and would not have had time to develop the abilities and strengths that lay at the bottom of his soul. Certainly, one can say that if these imaginative powers are present, they are so strong that they will prevail under all circumstances in financial activities. - This can be said in the abstract, and it is always said, but it is not true. In reality, many a poet owes his particular temperament, what he has become, to the fact that something like what I have mentioned happened to him. He will be grateful - if he attaches any importance to the fact that he has become a famous poet - to those who let him fail and who did not hinder his career by giving him “excellent” in every single subject. So we can certainly develop this gratitude, just as life was - if we take it real, not sentimental - and can say: we are forged out of the fate that goes with us and against us. - But we have to go through these feelings in order to see fate weaving and living before us, so to speak.
I would like to turn to how the same experiences can be experienced by those who are in possession of the science of initiation, who can therefore see into the spiritual world. The possibility is open to him to live through the matter in the following way.
He directs his gaze, which is now already sharpened by the fact that he has an imaginative, inspired insight - what these mean, you can read about it in my book “How does one attain knowledge of the higher worlds?” -on some experience. Whoever has condensed and enlightened his knowledge can direct this knowledge with a special intensity to any experience he has in the present. After all, when one has initiatory cognitions, one is not affected by the experience more weakly, but more strongly than when one does not have this cognition. One must not conclude from the fact that the one who has initiatory knowledge apparently passes by the experiences with much greater composure than the one who does not have it, that he is less strongly affected by them. He is much more affected than the other. He has only acquired the strength to look at the hard events of life outwardly with composure; in depth he feels them more meaningfully than the other feels them. Therefore, when the person gifted with imagination and inspiration has these experiences before him, they are intensely and strongly shaded; and because he has practiced them - he has gone through exercises for them in this and the previous life - he can form these events into fully substantive images, transforming them into imaginations himself.
What does this transformation consist of? It consists precisely in the fact that of the events, the experiences, not only that which one sees with the eyes is there, but that the deeper spiritual, the spiritual connections are there, that an image is there, which one carries around with oneself even when the experience is no longer there; but the image is then immediately there. The experience is just intense, and through the imagination the spiritual connections play into it; the soul is touched intensely, and it is then possible to look into the spiritual and retain the experience. If a night passes, then through sleep the experience, which has been experienced more intensely because the astral body and the ego leave the physical body, is carried out into the spiritual world. That which one has experienced in the physical world, with the physical and etheric bodies together, can be experienced alone with the ego and the astral body in the spiritual world; but then one carries it back into the physical body when one wakes up. But now one does not carry it back in the way that the ordinary consciousness carries it back, which is then dependent on memory, which gradually shades itself off; one carries it back in such a way that one now penetrates one's whole being as with a phantom, that one carries it with one in full objectivity, in all intensity, that it surrounds one from an appearance like the real reality of another person who stands bodily before one. And then another two or three days or nights pass. And what happens after these two or three days and nights is the following: What one has first carried up with the ego and the astral body into the spiritual world, what one has brought back again, so that it thus forces and lives and vibrates in the physical body, that speaks - that now emerges - and stands behind the experiences as the ruling fate. The experiences are not there alone, but these experiences are now permeated by what has brought them forth in earlier earth lives, by how they will continue to work in the following earth lives. Just as we place the memory behind us as a shadowy afterimage, so the one who has initiation science places the experiences in front of him, so that the experiences are directly in front of him. But they become transparent like glass, and behind them, like a powerful world memory, stands the becoming karma, the objective memory. And one becomes aware that the human being not only has the shadowy memories of earthly life within himself, but that his karma is engraved around him in the world ether, in the Akashic Chronicle. In there is the shadowy memory; out there is the cosmic memory of our destiny through our earthly lives, even if it remains unconscious to the ordinary consciousness.

We walk through the world in such a way that we can schematically draw our course through the world in this way (see drawing p. 229). We walk over the ground, we have the shadowy memories within us. If we were to imagine a human being and these shadowy memories in him, we would have to imagine them as a small cloud in the area of his head - where the head gradually merges into the body - which gradually becomes more and more shadowy towards the body. As the human being walks through the world in this way, he is surrounded as if by an etheric mist in which all his experiences are inscribed, but also everything that is inscribed in him from his previous life on earth. We have an inner memory, and we have the memory of the world outside us. Every human being is surrounded by this aura. Not only is the present earthly life engraved in our memory, but the earthly lives of the human being are engraved around us. It is not always easy to decipher this memory, but it is there. Deciphering it is difficult, and those cases in which I have spoken to you about such deciphering in the past few days were not easy to bring up into realization. But everything is there. Man not only has a memory within himself, man has an auric memory around him. It is not possible to retrieve this memory in a single moment - when one approaches what one has gone through in earthly life. This " memory always takes days. Waking up and falling asleep, as I have described, must work together. It can never be said that any experience is there, one should remember how it was shaped from earlier earthly lives. One must visualize this experience clearly and imaginatively and with the inspiration that permeates it; then one must wait until it reveals itself. With regard to the spiritual world, one must never speculate with one's researches, never invent anything, but only make the preparations for something to reveal itself out of the spiritual world. Whoever believes that he can force the spiritual world to reveal this or that to him will be very much mistaken, he will only get errors out of it. One must prepare that which one can hope to receive more or less graciously revealed from the spiritual world.
You see, this is the path of knowledge that can reveal karma with the science of initiation. It reveals that every human being carries karma around him like a kind of aura. But through this path of gratitude in life, as I have described it, you can get an idea of what a person carries around him. You can get an idea of being enclosed in such a karmic-auric cloak. However, it will not happen in the course of a few days, as with the initiation realization, but will occur gradually during a more intimate self-observation of the person, often for events far in the past that we are currently looking at. But when a certain event from the past of our earthly life is ripe to be judged by us in such a way that we see the preparatory forces of earlier earthly lives playing into it, then we already get an inkling. Unfortunately, however, it is quite rare in human soul life today to find something that digs so deeply into one's own soul that it reaches this understanding of one's own experience, which one can only approach in this feeling of gratitude. People today take life far too externally. One rushes through life, does not stop to feel the individual experiences. It is like that: If you have grown up with a certain sense of the cosmic significance of human life, then it might sometimes seem quite strange in our time how little people actually are in reality what they imagine, how strongly people are often simply taken along by life without being anything strong individually in this life.
I would also like to refer to specific individual cases. You see, I once noticed a history teacher in my life, a history teacher who was a very clever man, who also made the impression of a very clever man on his pupils, who, you could say, if he wanted to, presented the history to his pupils with a certain inner enthusiasm, which he put into the emphasis of his speech, so that enthusiasm for this history teacher could already develop when the right moment was there. There was something strange about this history teacher. I saw how he could indeed develop enthusiasm among his students at first. Then life caught up with him where he was; he became careless, he could no longer muster the enthusiasm he used to put into his lectures. He read from books that he thought the students didn't know and wouldn't be able to get hold of. Once one of the pupils followed him and looked up the book from which he had read. Then all the students bought it and memorized everything and were “excellent students”. He finally became so superficial that he was no longer involved in what he was presenting to his students in class. After a relatively short time this transformation had taken place, and one had to wonder how little he was involved, after having aroused enthusiasm only a short time ago. A few years passed again, and the same history teacher, of whom I had heard a number of pupils say with the proper enthusiasm of youth: "This is a man who is enthusiastic about history, you can learn something from him! -, ended quite strangely in the most trivial life-swamp. In just a few years, he was so bogged down in trivial life that he had to live outside the town where he was a teacher because he had so little reputation that he couldn't live in the town at all.
Such a twist of fate appears to be a great mystery, and it is precisely at such twists of fate that one begins to ask karmic questions, if one understands life deeply enough. For many other people - how shall I put it - just muddle along by remaining as they are, by not undergoing such radical changes. If you then live in the true knowledge of the spirit, fates like the one I am telling you about become major problems. On the one hand, we are led through spirit-knowledge to the great problems that Woodrow Wilson showed us yesterday at the end of a series of incarnations, but on the other hand, in the life that immediately surrounds us, we are led to the great questions of human destiny in our thinking. When we look at something like this in a completely unbiased way, we realize that it cannot come from the life we are currently living! And there will be numerous other cases in an earthly life that do not find such a turn of fate; then one must intervene with one's whole human being in the longing to understand such questions of fate. And then, alongside such cases, there are others. I will cite one more example. It was precisely these examples that always seemed to me - in order to give my view of karma the necessary color - to be placed on my path by my own karma.
I got to know another personality, also a teacher, personally. He was actually even more revered than the other person I mentioned, he was extremely revered by the students. The students had this mental image: this is the greatest sage who currently exists in the world. - The person in question made such an impression on his pupils - not on all of them, for example not on myself, but that is a private matter, it is not characteristic - but on many pupils. Now something very strange happened. While one might have believed from the way this gentleman related to his pupils - he had put all his enthusiasm, every fiber of his soul into it, so that teaching seemed to satisfy him - one suddenly discovered in him that he was extremely glad not to have to teach any more, because he had been appointed principal of a much inferior school to the one he had taught at before. He was happy to be able to do the director's business, which was much more trivial than the actual teaching. And the most striking, the most astonishing thing was that this same man, who could talk enthusiastically about Homer and Aeschylus, who explained geography to his pupils in a wonderful way, ended up in trivial political partisanship. Downright incomprehensible!
I am only citing this example as an example, because I could add a whole number more to the two I have mentioned. These would be such personalities of the more widespread present, where one actually has the feeling that their ego has been little touched by life. They stand there as personalities who have been seized little by life individually, but life has seized them from outside. If it touches them once, when they are still close to their seminary examination, their university education, where they have heard enthusiastically, then they are inside with enthusiasm. If life touches them more with the trivial, then they find themselves in the trivial, then they are also satisfied; nothing grasps the soul quite deeply within them. If it were a question of cleverness, of understanding - yes, how many people would be anthroposophists today! For millions and millions of people today are clever enough for anthroposophy. The thing that hinders us in our time from approaching anthroposophy is this: to take life superficially with one's soul, not to approach life with one's soul at all, to let life flow by in its depths and in its surfaces and banalities. You enter into one life as into the other, you can be a little school reformer for a while, then sit in a coffee house and play billiards all day long, not taking a break at all. Things like that happen in our lives.
You see, this raises the big question: How does this come about? - For many souls, it becomes apparent in what a strange way this has come about. A whole number of such personalities as I have described in the two examples take us back to the first Christian centuries, when these personalities had their decisive earlier lives on earth, to those Christian centuries when Christianity in the south and also somewhat in the middle of Europe had assumed the form which it later often retained for man; where that mystery wisdom had faded away, of which I have shown in my book “Christianity as Mystical Fact” that Christianity grew out of it, the cosmic Christ-experience, the knowledge that from the sun, which is a spiritual being in the cosmos, the Christ went forth and came to earth to be to the earth what it has become to it. This knowledge, which expands from the earth into cosmic spirituality, was present among the authoritative Christian people in the first century and faded away in the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh centuries after Christ. Then it faded so much that today it has come so far - but it had already begun then - that the greatest reproach against anthroposophy's conception of Christ is that anthroposophy conceives of Christ as a cosmic being, as a solar being. You see it everywhere among the opponents: this is counted as anthroposophy's greatest sin, that it conceives of Christ cosmologically. It is said that this is a rehashing of what once existed as Gnostic Christianity. - Now people don't know what Gnostic Christianity actually is. Apart from a few things, from which little can be gleaned, such as the Pistis Sophia, Gnosticism has only become known to posterity through the writings of its opponents. Gnosis is not actually known. We only know about it through the opponents' writings. Think about the question: If nothing remained known of anthroposophy except the writings of my present-day opponents, if everything were destroyed except the writings of my opponents, how would anthroposophy be portrayed in posterity! - That is what some people and some critics are striving for: to treat the anthroposophical books, of which there are many, in the same way as the Gnostic writings. Then only the writings of the opponents would be there; they would be the first thing you would look at: nothing but books by opponents! That would be extremely interesting. With regard to Gnosticism, people could get nothing else for external research but the opponents' books. So that the sentence is simple nonsense: “The old Gnosis is being warmed up”; for no one can do it who does not know the Gnosis itself from its writings, but these have been lost! One cannot get to know it from writings that were mostly written by opponents; but nothing else has come down to posterity. Nevertheless, this also shows that it is considered the greatest sin to associate Christ with the spirit of the cosmos. In a true understanding of the Gospels, every page, every sentence of the Gospels must point to the cosmic in Christ. But this has gradually been eradicated. And in the time in which it has been most eradicated, those people have mostly been incarnated who, when they come back today, do not find the connection to life, because in their previous incarnation, when they were also already clever and intelligent, they could not possibly know anything about the connection of the earth with the spiritual life in the cosmos through their time formation. Because they staggered through life, as it were, as if the earth were only completely closed in on itself and there was nothing to be seen outside but physical stars, they turn to the real life acting on them in their re-incarnation, as it were, staggering along.
This is how one looks into the fate of human beings. One comes to realize how the formation of time has had this influence on a very large number of people, that it has superficialized them and that they already appear in this life with the disposition to superficialization, as I have described it to you. For this is how you experience these people who once lost their connection with the spiritual powers in the cosmos in a previous incarnation: they cannot find the connection with earthly life in the next incarnation, for which the incarnation in question was decisive. All cosmic thoughts, however, should not merely bring contemplation into our lives, but will and action. And then we must consider: How will it go in the future if, in addition to the non-grasping of the spirit in the cosmos, there is also the non-grasping of earthly life, the going through the trivialities in the same way as through the depths of life? - This is where the contemplation of karma
really serious. It can only live among us in the most serious way. Today I wanted to give a more emotional view of karma.