The Rudolf Steiner Archive

19. Questions About School and Home

Speech at the Parents' Night

[ 1 ] Ladies and gentlemen! The issue of school and home, children and parents, has long been regarded as one that people were eager to discuss in detail here at a parents' evening.

[ 2 ] It is not possible to cover everything in a single evening; but we will organize such evenings—on which this question is discussed—more often, and then we will be able to explore the topic thoroughly. Today I would like to present to you the first and most important points of view, as they occur to the teachers and me.

[ 3 ] Parent-teacher conferences are often lively discussions about education, but many representatives—including prominent figures in today’s official school system—do not think much of such conferences. And distinguished educators have said that nothing comes of them except fruitless debate. People can have different views on all aspects of practical life, including parent-teacher conferences; each view can be justified. $o I do not wish to deny the right of certain viewpoints to not think highly of parent-teacher conferences. - However, as representatives of the Waldorf school philosophy, we must see something extraordinarily significant in these parent-teacher conferences, for these gatherings—when conducted in the right way—are closely connected to the deepest foundations of what we aim to achieve with the Waldorf school.

[ 4 ] Certainly, teachers who feel they are part of today’s social context and supported by the government feel a certain sense of security in their environment and are very often satisfied with that. After all, they are told plenty about what they should do; why should parents have to weigh in as well, they think.

[ 5 ] We certainly cannot take that position. We are not, after all, so deeply entrenched in current social conditions. We must act based on what shines forth before us as an educational goal, drawn from our understanding of humanity and life, from the science and art of humanity. We must draw what we need for our daily teaching from the inner strength of our pedagogical heart. To do this, we need—I won’t say recognition, for an idea as deeply rooted in the demands of our time and the future as ours must carry the power of its impact within itself and not rely on recognition—but what we do need for our work in daily school life is, above all, the understanding of those on whom it depends first and foremost: those who entrust their children to our care at school.

[ 6 ] Without this understanding, we cannot do our work at all. And this understanding must, at first, be of a general nature. We cannot say: A higher wisdom, arising from the established social order, hovers over our heads; it will guide us, and we need nothing more than an awareness of it. - We must gain the power to bring our school ideals to life; power insofar as it is recognized how deeply rooted in the most important cultural demands of the present and the near future is precisely that which is brought to light by the Waldorf school ideal. Therefore, we must strive to ensure that what we want is presented with clear insight to the people of the present who are capable of understanding it. First and foremost, we must expect that those who entrust their children to us—who therefore have a certain affection for the Waldorf school—will also be able to penetrate the thoughts, feelings, and impulses of the will that sustain us.

[ 7 ] Above all, we wish to establish a relationship between the school and parents that is not based on blind faith in authority. That has no value for us. The only thing of value is that which meets our intentions with understanding, down to the smallest detail; that which is aware that a great risk has been taken with this school—the risk of using limited human resources to recognize the demands of the 20th century, which are so difficult to unravel, and to transform them into pedagogical and didactic principles. I believe there is not a single member of our teaching staff who does not wish to experience the context in which they are placed as a kind of world-historical celebration within the development of humanity. This is what the teacher desires in all humility. But as necessary as modesty is, it is equally necessary that the teacher not view this role with timidity, but rather become aware of the significance of his work—not so much because of his own nature, but because of what he professes to stand for—and that this significance be viewed in the proper light, not out of caprice or sympathy, but out of a will rooted in an awareness of the times. We need this above all from the parents.

[ 8 ] We would like the parents of Waldorf school children to say to themselves: “I feel a very special sense of moral responsibility toward education, and I want my children, in particular, to contribute to the great tasks facing humanity in the 20th century.” I want entrusting my children to the Waldorf School to truly be a social act of great significance. — The more deeply this can be absorbed into one’s entire mindset, the better.

[ 9 ] Above all, what matters to us is attitude. We do not place much value on specific instructions telling teachers how they should behave toward parents—and vice versa. We cannot expect much from such specific instructions, but we can expect a great deal when teachers and parents approach one another with the right attitudes. For we know that when attitude is connected to the innermost essence of a person, then that attitude becomes action—precisely in the details of life. When a mindset takes hold of a person on a grand scale, their individual actions become reflections of what that mindset seeks to achieve in a broad sense. Therefore, for us, it is more a matter of feeling and understanding what is right in the right way than of giving and receiving specific instructions.

[ 10 ] How often have I emphasized how the various stages of life affect the child—how the child is one thing until the teeth come in, and something else entirely until puberty. Until their teeth come in, children are, in fact, bound by destiny to a very intimate connection with their parents’ home. Anyone who is not completely absorbed in the materialistic way of thinking that flourishes today, but who sees through to the spiritual connection in human coexistence and development, knows that the fateful bond between children and parents is much greater than our abstract age often assumes in its materialistic mental images. If, in addition to what physical life gives us, we also recognize what spiritual life offers beyond the boundaries of birth and death, then we take the fateful connection between children and their parents and siblings very seriously; and then we come to appreciate the profound significance—truly decisive for all education—of the very way in which we bring the child from the parental home into elementary school.

[ 11 ] Although this first part of my reflections may seem somewhat distant to most parents, it still seems important to me to touch on this as well. After all, parents who already have children here may have even younger siblings at home, and they may have come to appreciate the Waldorf school philosophy and want to enroll their younger children as well. For them, the topic of early childhood education is also important.

[ 12 ] We bring the child into school in such a way that he or she is a true reflection of all the circumstances and personalities in the family home and in his or her environment up to that point. From the first to the seventh year, the child is almost entirely a sensory being; with immense sensitivity, it absorbs everything from its surroundings—everything that is said, done, and even thought there. And therein lies a secret of human development that is largely overlooked by modern science: the emotional expressions of the child’s environment become part of the child’s physical constitution. Anyone who has acquired the subtle pedagogical sensitivity toward the child’s appearance—which a Waldorf school teacher is expected to possess—can see in the sparkle of the child’s eyes, upon entering elementary school, whether the child has been treated with love by those around them, or whether they have been treated unkindly amid outbursts of anger. What parents, siblings, and so on do, say, and think is reflected in the child’s physical constitution, and I could say much more if I were to describe how these emotional expressions can be observed in the child’s breathing, blood circulation, and nervous system function. It may well be that the father and mother are prone to treating the child with frequent outbursts of anger. In these children, one can see what they have absorbed and connected to their inner being, and how this becomes part of their physical constitution—in the way they digest, in their muscle movements, and also in the way they are able—or unable—to comprehend things.

[ 13 ] I may—not figuratively, but literally—put it this way: when the teacher takes on a first-grade class, he or she receives, through the child, a picture of the child’s entire home life; in terms of health, temperament, capacity, and moral disposition, the child brings that home life into the school. And at school, we first become very intimately acquainted with the family home through the child. This should become part of the mindset of those who have a genuine interest in a school like the Waldorf School. Such things need only become part of one’s mindset; then they will influence one’s actions.

[ 14 ] When one clearly understands something like this, one will do certain things that one would otherwise neglect, and refrain from doing many things that one would otherwise do. This is not abstract knowledge; it permeates one’s entire life. If that is the prerequisite, then the very will that properly brings parents and teachers together will arise. For when one knows that what truly matters is at work in the depths of human nature, one attaches less importance to what can be said in five minutes—that is, to the words themselves—and much more to the way in which they are spoken. If the attitude I have hinted at continually drives our children’s parents into the school to meet with the appropriate teacher, then this—simply because parents and teachers are not strangers to one another but have seen one another—will become a fruitful reality.

[ 15 ] What we need above all in this relationship between parents and teachers is for that interest in the general principles of Waldorf education to extend to the entire life of the school—to everything connected with the Waldorf school, involving both the teaching staff and the parents. We can teach at the Waldorf school with great peace of mind, with a strength that gives us new motivation every day, when we know that there is a daily interest in the parents’ homes in what the teacher does at school.

[ 16 ] I am well aware of how difficult it is to pursue such an interest. I know full well that, given our social circumstances, people have little time or energy—when the child comes home from school—to ask the child: “How was your day? What did you do?”—and that the child, with warm enthusiasm, can hardly wait for these questions to be asked. It is not a matter of parents asking these questions out of a sense of duty, but rather in a way that makes the child want to be asked. Let us not be embarrassed at all by the fact that sometimes the child might tell us something we ourselves have forgotten—that goes without saying; it will go completely unnoticed if there is genuine enthusiasm on both sides. And do not underestimate the fact that when a teacher knows that what he does sparks the keenest interest in the home—even if only for a few short minutes—he knows his work is well-founded; he then works from a spiritual atmosphere that has an encouraging, educational, and instructive effect on the child.

[ 17 ] This is the most effective way to combat precisely what today’s outstanding educators are saying. When they are among themselves, they speak of the “war between parents and teachers.” This war is something that constitutes a sort of secret topic of discussion among many educators. This war has, in fact, led to a peculiar phrase that is already well-known—especially among younger teachers: We must begin education with the parents, particularly with the mothers. - We have neither the ambition nor sufficient utopian vision for this. Not because we believe parents cannot be educated or do not want to be educated, but because we wish for a truly close, friendly relationship between parents and teachers, one grounded in the matter at hand. Much can be achieved in this regard through the parents’ interest in the school.

[ 18 ] While parents, through their own inner life, have such a strong influence on the child’s physical constitution, the teacher has only the ability to influence the child’s inner life through his or her own inner life. The principle of necessary—indeed, self-evident—authority then takes the place of that imitative nature the child displays toward its parents until the child loses its baby teeth. We must possess this authority; the teacher is particularly supported in this regard when such a characterized interest is present. Much of what parents can contribute to the exercise of this authoritative power—ensuring that the teacher can be the authority he or she must be—flows simply from the fact that the school is taken with a certain solemn seriousness. Anyone who becomes a teacher at a Waldorf school has already been thoroughly vetted; and one can certainly place one’s trust in them. And if one does not understand something, one should not immediately turn up one’s nose, but rather trust in the great, all-encompassing principle in which one believes oneself; then one will support the teacher and take every opportunity to foster a close connection between parents and teachers.

[ 19 ] As you know, we do not issue report cards with the standard grades used in public schools. We try to characterize the child and address their individuality. First of all: If a teacher is in charge of drafting the report cards and is aware of their responsibility, a mystery upon mystery unfolds before their inner eye, and they weigh every word they are to write. It is a great relief to him when he has met with the parents—not because of hereditary factors, which today are the sole concern of materialism, but because he observes the child’s environment, and only then does everything appear in the right light. In doing so, there is no need to judge the parents themselves in an indiscreet manner; rather, he simply wishes to approach them in a friendly manner. Just as I write a letter differently to acquaintances than to strangers, so too do I write report cards for students with parents I know versus those I do not know.

[ 20 ] Second, the teacher should really be confident that such report cards would be met with loving interest at home, and I believe that if parents were able to write a brief response to what the teacher has described in the report card, that would be of tremendous help. If this is introduced as a rule, it has no significance; if it arises out of a need on the part of the parents, it is immensely important from a pedagogical standpoint. Such letters will certainly be read with extraordinary attention in our Waldorf school; they would be much more important to us—even if they were written with countless mistakes—than many of today’s recognized cultural descriptions of the present. In doing so, one would gain a deep insight into what is needed when one teaches not from abstract ideas, but from the impulse of the times.

[ 21 ] You must not forget: The Waldorf school teacher educates based on an understanding of human nature that is not acquired through the methods commonly used today. But from what parents could devotedly share with the teacher, a deep understanding of human nature would flow, and I am not exaggerating at all when I say that for the teacher, the “counter-report” is almost more important than the report card is for the child. But even here, I do not place the greatest value on the individual corrective measure I happen to take, but rather on maintaining a lively interest in everything that takes place at school.

[ 22 ] And so I believe that, as long as the school year proceeds as I have suggested, the right approach to the time the child spends on vacation will emerge naturally. We would do very well to let the vacations be vacations, without urging the child to do anything school-related; but if the attitude I have described is fully realized, it will naturally bring cheer, joy, and a revitalizing effect on the child’s health.

[ 23 ] What is particularly important to us, however, is an atmosphere imbued with this spirit, so that you recognize: The Waldorf school teacher cares for the whole child, especially their health. And what we are particularly committed to is being attuned, deep within our souls, to even the subtlest aspects of the health of the children entrusted to us. The art of education is not complete unless it extends to this level of concern for the child. But it is precisely in this area that the necessary work will only be possible if parents and the school work together appropriately. It is our hope that parents will approach the school with an understanding born of an inner need, and that they will also seek guidance from our Waldorf school regarding physical well-being, diet, and so on. In particular, we hope that in such matters, the interaction between parents and teachers will fully embody what is the fundamental impulse of our work at the school: Deep, innermost honesty and openness. Much could come of this in life, and much can be improved if a father or mother comes to the teacher and says: “My child comes home tired; he or she arrives late; what can I do together with you to counteract this?”—Through this honest cooperation, much good can be accomplished.

[ 24 ] In particular, however, the school can be greatly helped if parents were to provide strong support in matters that require precision—not pedantry. It contributes greatly to the way discipline is maintained at school and to fostering a sense of seriousness in the children when, through the very nature of the morning interaction between parents and children—without any specific instruction—it becomes a matter of course that the child leaves the house at the right time and thus arrives at school on time. Here, too, I am not referring so much to the individual act as to the awareness behind it; I mean the understanding that school is a serious and solemn matter, and that parents are satisfied when teachers are satisfied with this punctuality. This is a moral message that the child brings with them from home to school every morning. To the teacher’s keen eye, it is not merely a matter of whether the child’s departure from home was satisfactory or unsatisfactory; rather, depending on how the child leaves the family home—in one way or another—impulses that either disrupt or foster the teacher’s own mood intrude upon it. Such things must come to the fore in one’s consciousness. I believe one gains a great deal for one’s entire life if, as a small child, one has heard something like this from one’s father: “Look, two things must be done exactly right: the clock and the child going to school.”—Saying this a few times doesn’t take much time and has an impact for a lifetime.

[ 25 ] What matters to us is not the details, but the heartfelt connection between the school and the home. We are confident that when such a genuine, heartfelt connection exists, the right results will follow. We long for this so deeply that this spirit may be awakened not only in the details, but with all our strength. The Waldorf School will achieve its goals not only through its cultural awareness, but also through the very things we have discussed today.

[ 26 ] We must realize that even in our time, some things had to be invented so that the shortcomings inherent in such matters would not become too apparent. How often must kindergartens make up for what was done poorly in the home! Our times have simply come to this: we need substitutes for what should be experienced within the family.

[ 27 ] What we aim to achieve with the Waldorf School must not only be understood intellectually, but it must also be loved. And if the parents’ attitude is steeped in such love, we will not need to raise our children through fear and hope—the two methods that are most common today, yet the worst. The best method of education, however, is and always will be love, and through an approach to education grounded in love, the home can provide strong support for the school.

[ 28 ] There are people who say that discipline in Waldorf schools is not as good as in other schools. There isn’t enough time here to discuss this in detail. But consider that the past few years have brought about significant changes—not only in social matters but also in the souls of children. We cannot apply the standards of our own youth. There is a deep chasm between the current young generation and their elders, and when it comes to understanding the nature of the child from an educational perspective, fear of punishment and the hope of good grades will lead to poor education, whereas love will lead to good education. No matter how wild the commotion may be in the classrooms, if the right relationship with the teacher exists—if he stands there in such a way that the child still sees in him what he is meant to see—then that commotion will take on a completely different meaning than it otherwise would. Perhaps this is paradoxical, but it is psychologically correct. One also gains a different perspective on the commotion; for much is worked out through it that will no longer be worked out in later life, and that is decidedly better than the reverse. The later stages of life are, after all, built upon what we cultivate in school. It is precisely when one is deeply imbued with the conviction that one must educate for the whole of life—not just for the moment—that one also realizes how much one needs the parents in order to make progress with the Waldorf school philosophy.

[ 29 ] I wanted to present these points of view first, but I would like to emphasize that they encompass the very essentials, and that an honest and thorough understanding of these points will take us very, very far and strengthen the conviction that is sacred to Waldorf school teachers—and for which we seek mutual understanding. We know that we will achieve our goal when what is intended in the school is understood in the home, and when we are able to work closely together with the families!